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| (Hehe Tao is really cute btw) |
Haven't update for ages! As you can see above, the tittle is HAPPY.
Happy sebab?
Sebab dah dapat result! Hehe. Alhamdulillah result bagus. Belajar dari pengalaman. Belajar dari kecuaian masa lepas. Aku happy sebab effort aku berbaloi. Aku happy sangat sebab aku seronok masa aku belajar, aku rasa excited nak jwb exam, dan akhirnya aku dapat keputusan yang baik. ((Kenapalah masa SPM dulu aku tak macam ni T_T))
At last aku boleh buat mama happy :) Itu yang paling penting. Tak kisah lah lambat sikit ke apa ke. Yang penting usaha aku yang tak tidur malam, tak cukup tidur, berbayar :)
Oh yeah, and malam sebelum aku dapat result tu sempat lagi bebudak ni buat bbq. So have fun jelah malam tu, langsung aku tak fikir pasal result cuak dol. We had a little sweet reunion dengan bebudak sk tudm dulu. I'm truly glad to meet them. Aihh rindu dah...
Balik pulak pukul 1 lebih sebab kitorang sampai rumah Alep lambat. Mana taknya cari Aizah punya kimsas kat dalam Politeknik Shah Alam tu berejam! Hahaha lawak gila masing masing dalam kereta dah pening dah. Dah lah gelap dalam tu. Last2 nasib baik pakcik guard tolong bawak kitorang. Aku tak sangka dalam Politeknik Shah Alam tu besar camtu (hahaha)
Balik je, dengan penat2, lengaih2, aku terus on wifi bukak laptop check email. Memang dah semangat nak check email, nak tahu result kan. Tapi sampai ke sudah tak dapat2, aku cam "ey main main plak yahoo mail ni" Lama lah gak aku tunggu result nak masuk, sampai aku tertidur.
Then pagi ni tetiba dapat email dari UITM. Alhamdulillah sesangat sangat :)
Till then, xoxo
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"People changed"
They said something like that.
I dont think I'm changing bcs i'm growing up.
One thing I know is, I'm already a different person now.
I literally pushed everyone and I had no damn idea why i did that.
I'm feeling uninterested towards things I like most before. Is it because my hormones? I dont think so. Is it because I'm just being lazy? Gosh, i dont know..
The thought that I might suffer from depressed, frighten me.
But to think about, why the hell should I feel depressed?
I didn't thru any tragic phobia or whatever. Or did I?
Ahah, gosh I made my life sounds really pathetic. Dont worry, I'm actually really fine here. God bless my siblings and moms and dad. My sisters and I are really a bunch of crazy freak if you know us well because, dammit.. we always crack the stupidest joke and fangirling over ONE DIRECTION AND EXO together. We never get tired of making noise and laughing, really... I'm really glad for having them :)
Plus, I'm grateful for having those pals who really understand me, and never get tired to approach me. But still, damn... I felt really guilty because i never let them in. I can't.
I have trust issue, I'm paranoid of being an open book. I'm sick of feeling this way, my thoughts are suffocating me. I have to stop feeling so insecure, my self-esteem is getting worst.
I cant even take care of the friendship i dear the most, I have to bear the fact that they are slowly leaving me because I'm being different, they must get really tired of me bcs I'm constantly pushing them away. I know you already giving up on me, I never blame you tho. In fact, I'm still grateful because atleast you never showed me, how upset you are bcs I keep messing up. You still to accept me, you've been always welcome me.
And I still care about you.
And If you feel the same about me,
Just hold on,
I'll try my very best to make things right again.
xoxo
Hello fellas.
Im not trying to avoid anyone or keep myself just because i deactived one of my social network. I deactive it because....... i dont know, I just felt like i want to. Well let just say that i've lost interest in it. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
So, what i actually do everyday is.............
- house chores
- day dreaming
- Baked cakes (currently helping mom selling her extremely delicious cheese tart)
- surfing internet
- Movie marathon (catching up bunches of movie lately)
- time travelling
So yeah. Adios xx
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